Baby and Body: 4 Months Update

ruth crilly baby blog

You can probably tell by the fact that my posts have been a bit more sporadic that I have a hell of a lot less time at the moment. Mainly because Baby A hardly sleeps at all during the day – a nap here and there, but nothing solid – and we have absolutely no routine whatsoever. So I just have to snatch the time to write when I can – I still work a lot of hours running A Model Recommends and the various things that go with it – and often draft my Uphill posts when I’m breastfeeding and write them up properly when I get a spare second. In the photograph above it’s about 2pm and I’m still in my dressing gown trying to edit a video for a client!

So apologies: the newborn months were a walk in the park with the amount of nap time I used to take advantage of – I get the feeling that it’s going to become more and more difficult to try and juggle baby and work as the months go on! I suppose I’ll have to start thinking about perhaps getting a bit of help for a couple of afternoons a week – I need to get this expressing malarkey down to pat and then I’m not tethered by the breasts! So to speak. Now that’s an image…

Here’s my four month baby and body update.


This month we have rolling going on. Rolling brings with it a whole new level of safety-anxiety. Will they roll over and suffocate? What if they roll over in the night? (Hello Sleepyhead, you genius invention – no fear of rolling with you about! Review coming up.) Will they suddenly learn how to roll over and over and over again when you’re not looking and roll themselves straight down the stairs? I can’t even imagine the stress when babies start crawling and pulling lamps over and trying to stick their fingers in plug sockets! I’ve already started doing a full house health and safety survey! As well as rolling we have a lot of foot-in-mouth action, quite a bit of giggling (although never at me, always at the husband or at granny and grandad or pretty much anyone. Apart from me. That’s gratitude for you!) and lots of surprised looking about and gurgling at shadows and trees. Bathtime has become a lot of fun with huge splashing sessions and looks of pure wonderment. I keep wanting to press the pause button because every moment is just so amazing and I want to remember it all – when people say “the time goes by so fast” they’re not joking!

We still have no routine; the flexibility of “no routine” had actually suited me as I tried to find my feet and get settled back into the house, but now I have to say that I would appreciate knowing whether I’ll be able to have a bath in the evening or eat my dinner with two hands, like a fully-functioning grown-up person. And a little glass of (medicinal) red wine would be nice, every now and again, which I would sip whilst watching The Trip on Netflix and perhaps eating one of those mini bars of Green & Blacks chocolate. Mmm.

But on a purely soppy note, because I don’t want to sound negative at all, I’m having a bloody GREAT time; I can’t believe how intensely I adore my little person. It seems as though every day I love her a bit more and sometimes my heart actually hurts when I think about her. And my head hurts when I think of what an enormous responsibility it is to love someone that much – to want to give them the absolute best you possibly can and do things the right way for them, even when you have no clue what you’re actually doing because you’ve never done it before…

But that’s enough of that – let’s talk about sore tits and c-section scars!


As you’ll know if you keep up with my posts (not hard) I had Mastitis. What a bastard of a thing to get – boob flu – when you actually have to feed through your boobs. Every few hours. Who the hell designed that particular malady? You can read all about it, if reading about boob flu takes your fancy, here.

But in general I feel as though I’m starting to “get my own body back”. Yes I have two huge watermelons on my chest and yes my waist has no actual smaller part and just goes straight up and down, but nevertheless I’ve been making an effort in the wardrobe department. I’ve been wearing jeans a lot, instead of leggings (even if they are maternity jeans with an elasticated waist!) and I’ve been trying to get out of the habit of sticking on long, loose tops with everything and generally looking like a bag lady. I find that if I wear a normal jumper or tee-shirt, it makes me hold my tummy in more tightly, which is surely good for building those muscles back up?

It’s kind of like a forced toning session. Though I don’t really feel ready to do any proper exercise yet – my boobs feel too cumbersome to jog or run and the idea of organising attendance at a group exercise class is just too daunting. I quite fancy taking up yoga (I did a few sessions pre-pregnancy and loved it) but I really need to get my expressing sorted so that I can have a few hours out on my own! The steriliser, bottles and various tubes and membranes and what have you are all on the draining board in the kitchen but I just don’t seem to be able to find a moment to get cracking. I did manage some when I had Mastitis (breastmilk diary post coming up) but I hadn’t sterilised the equipment, so it was purely for fun. And by fun, I mean “stopping my breast from exploding”.

C-section scar was doing well, and I hadn’t heard a peep out of it until last week when the pesky little part near the middle (about 5mm long) started playing up again. Just a bit sore and itchy. I mean a tiny amount of sore and itchy, but I’m a bit of a wimp when it comes to my scar. I can barely look at it. Literally, actually, because there’s a gut overhanging it and I need to arrange a series of mirrors to get a good view..

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  1. Julie
    October 17, 2015 / 10:03 pm

    oh Ruth, sounds like everything is going dreadfully normally then, which is awful when people say because your experience always feels so unique. Seven years in I still can’t stand looking or touching my scar, and when a pesky hair grows through it’s just revolting. It is such a lovely time when they start gurgling and moving. I look back on it with fond memories, but at the time I felt guilty for not enjoying every moment. Now I’m out of the fog, I realise you can only enjoy what you can, and let’s be real, pumping and washing isn’t really that much fun. We actually did a huge renovation when ours was 5 months, so that complicated things a bit. The routine will come when you’re all ready for it. In some ways I used to get more stressed with routine.

    • October 18, 2015 / 5:29 pm

      Oh my God, the hairs in it. I can’t even. *yaks*

  2. Laurie P
    October 17, 2015 / 10:17 pm

    Hi, Ruth!

    If you would like to do some yoga at home, I highly recommend Rodney Yee – AM Yoga video. It has five different practices that take all of 20 min. each and are beginner level. You can order his video on the Gaim website.

    Best regards,


  3. Anne
    October 18, 2015 / 12:55 am

    If you’re interested in yoga at home, you should check out yoga with adriene she had a 30 days of yoga series that are all fairly easy to follow along with and not too long either (an hour or less for most videos). She’s also good about focusing on what’s good for you so there’s not pressure to do more than you can.

    • October 18, 2015 / 5:28 pm

      This lady is POPULAR! : )

      • Alba
        October 28, 2015 / 10:28 pm

        Yes, she is!
        Most videos are under 30 and you can find very gentle ones (bedtime, yoga for cramps, relaxation, healing, for a headache, etc). I highly recommend her, her videos brought me back to yoga and I’m lazy as s***. Also, she’s the nicest!
        I admire how you talk about your journey, the difficulties, the body… your attitude is gold Ruth, baby A is so lucky! I’m not planning on having kids soon but when the day comes, I hope I can be half as brave, funny and solid as you are (without forgetting the inner child of course). Lots of love xx

  4. EB
    October 18, 2015 / 6:13 am

    If you would like to do some yoga but don’t want to go to a class then you can’t really get better than Yoga With Adrienne on YouTube – she’s amazing! Like you, I am a post-c-section busy mum and I love her videos. They range from 3 minutes to an hour so no excuse for not doing one every day or at least every couple of days (I still find excuses but I am a bit lazy). X

    • October 18, 2015 / 5:28 pm

      Oooh, you’ve seconded that – definitely looking it up! x

      • Rachel
        October 18, 2015 / 8:48 pm

        I love love love Yoga with Adriene! Her 30 days are the best. She’s so down to earth and funny. Not too new-agey or granola if you know what I mean. Good quick videos for all levels.

  5. Chloe Toft Madsen
    October 18, 2015 / 6:24 am

    Hi Ruth,

    Great post – always look forward to reading them and they never fail to make me laugh! I think I may have said this before but the best expressing tip I have is to do it first thing in the morning (whilst doing your first feed for Baby A if you’re dexterous enough as it’s much quicker) and then use that for nightime. There is usually so much in the morning that it has the added benefit that you don’t go round looking lopsided for the first few hours of the day! I found it allowed me to miss the last feed at night if I wanted an early night, bath etc as there was a good amount for my husband to feed and so my baby was very full and slept really well.

    Enjoy your Sunday! X

    • October 18, 2015 / 5:28 pm

      Can you do the other boob while they are feeding on the first one then? How do you fit everything on?!! x

      • Sam
        October 19, 2015 / 6:20 am

        My baby is nearly 3 months. I do this. It’s a bit of a juggling job but as long as baby is hungry enough to feed for a decent amount of time it is possible. I find it easiest to do with baby sort of kneeling up to me so that their body is away from the pump parts. Also for this type of expressing I use the pump (medela mini electric) with the batteries so it’s all a bit more portable and less chance to garrotting myself or child!

        However, I’ve found it easier to do the pump just after baby has finished feed – let down response it still strong and there’s less chance of baby grabbing parts of the pump and/or your body!

        • October 19, 2015 / 10:30 am

          Oh batteries are a good idea! That’s what I was worried about – the wire/garrotting matter! x

  6. Amy Benjamin
    October 18, 2015 / 7:36 am

    Holy hell – little baby A is absolutely gorgeous!! Her little ears!! *I die*
    Has Mr Bear and Dexter moved in yet?

    • October 18, 2015 / 5:27 pm

      Haha! I know, she’s like a woodland creature! Dexter has always been here, Mr Bear comes home this week. x

  7. Elpy
    October 18, 2015 / 7:54 am

    Hi Ruth! I am so happy for you and for your baby. I can tottaly understand how you feel. I passed exactly the same. But you know by the time christmas arrive you are going to be so different! Your body and your baby! Everything will be better! Time passes so fast! And believe me you are going to miss these moments. I thought that when my daughter would go the kindergarden I would have more time for myself and to get some rest but no… I am more anxius. I go to the bathroom with my mobile, I am alarmed all the time, I am afraind if there is a bully in the class, if the teachers are good and most of all I miss her so much! Nowadays she is a little sick with the flu and please don’t judge me but I really enjoy having her at home with me. I just wish she was feeling better. I know it is not right because since she went to the kinderganrden she grew up so fast and so good and everyday there is something new to say and new songs and everything. Please don’t judge me. I don’t want my child to have fever and feel bad. I hope you understand what I am saying.

    • October 18, 2015 / 5:27 pm

      Ah, I am trying to enjoy every little second! xx

    • Katie G
      October 19, 2015 / 3:06 pm

      Oh I can sure relate to this comment, my son started pre school last month, I actually took time of work to go up to his class to eye up the other children and make sure no bully types, it was so bad of me, but it would break my heart to think of him upset. I ask my partner every day (he collects our son) how he got on, did he enjoy etcetc did he say anyone was bold or hit him 🙂 haha the worry never endsxxxx

  8. Louise Theakstone
    October 18, 2015 / 8:36 am

    I love your updates , my little girl is 3 months and I also had a c section so it’s fab to hear from someone who’s going through the same thing.

    We are also in no flipping routine what so ever so it’s good to know I’m not on my own with that one, I keep hearing about all these babies that are in amazing routines, sleeping through and all the rest of it and I’m over here still in my dressing gown with unbrushed hair at 2pm xx

    • October 18, 2015 / 5:26 pm

      Ha! On the upside, I get to watch a LOT of Netflix! x

  9. Jas
    October 18, 2015 / 8:52 am

    I am in love with your blog!! We just had our first baby after 2.5 years of trying and lots of struggles and I just wondered if you did/would do a post on your labour and delivery story?

    • October 18, 2015 / 5:25 pm

      Need to do a proper one, really, but glad you found the existing post! x

  10. Jas
    October 18, 2015 / 8:54 am

    Aah I just found it!! (can I blame baby brain?!)

  11. Shad Neupane
    October 18, 2015 / 11:40 am

    Hi Ruth! I enjoy reading your posts as they’re funny, witty and relatable. Do prepare yourself as your little one will have more waking hours throughout the day. I have a 7-month-old and he now only naps twice during the day- one long noontime nap, and a short one in the late afternoon. I remember I used to have loads of time watching BBC documentaries whilst my baby feeds or naps, but have hardly any time these days. And once you start introducing solids, you’ll wonder where the day has gone- the process of preparing their food, feeding them, cleaning up after them, doing the washing, breastfeeding, etc. leaves you little time for yourself. Hard work, but so worth it! Enjoy the time that you have still!xx

    • October 18, 2015 / 5:25 pm

      Two naps would do me – I get none at the moment! Though she did go down today, which was nice… Think she’s having too much fun being awake and looking at things! x

  12. maria
    October 18, 2015 / 1:22 pm


    Had to comment about the giggling at anyone but you. My baby did the same and someone told me that babies do not actually realise their mothers are separate individuals from them until somewhat later. So that is why they giggle at other people before their mother, because they see their mother as an extension of themselves for a while in the beginning.

    Oh, and don’t worry. My daughter now laughs at me a lot – sometimes more than I’d like. Like when something hurts and I say “ouch”, she thinks it is the most hilarious thing in the world.

    • October 18, 2015 / 5:24 pm

      Oh God, it certainly FEELS like you’re one being, so that makes sense!! x

  13. Jennifer
    October 18, 2015 / 2:37 pm

    Keep up the great work! You are doing an awesome job.

  14. Gillian
    October 18, 2015 / 3:05 pm

    Now is such a joyful stage as they start to interact with you and other things Ruth. Everything is something new to explore. I miss those days when my babies were small. My youngest girl is now 15 and has decided to turn all of my photos in my living room upside down!! Never a dull moment baby or teen!!
    I think you’re right, the newborn stage is the easiest, sleep issues aside, it’s when they are on the move and you have to be one step ahead all the time!!
    Two of the greatest parenting inventions I ever used were reigns and playpens!! Playpens give you a bit more freedom when they’re on the move, to get your own jobs etc done and reigns were a miracle for me, with my RA I couldn’t run after them if they shot off, though my son did love to hang on my poor arms when he had the reigns on!! At least he couldn’t run off though! Not so many people seem to use them these days for some reason, nothing freaks me out more than seeing a tot running off ahead of Mum/Dad!!

    • October 18, 2015 / 5:24 pm

      YES!!!! I am definitely getting a playpen! : )

  15. October 18, 2015 / 3:44 pm

    Can I make a little suggestion on the yoga front and recommend a you tube series called 30 Days of Yoga with Adrian (Adrianne??? I can’t remember, anyway searching for 30 days of yoga will find it). I know it seems like a bit of a commitment, but . . . I only do it once or twice a week, slowly working my way through the series and it makes all the difference, plus none of the videos are longer than half an hour (ish) so they are easy to squeeze in as and when. I’ve found it a great way to back into yoga after not doing it for ages and she gives easy and hard version depending on how challenging you want it, or how flexible you are!

    • October 18, 2015 / 5:23 pm

      Thank you, looking that up now! x

    • October 18, 2015 / 5:23 pm

      Thank you, will take a look! x

  16. Jo
    October 18, 2015 / 10:40 pm

    I enjoy your posts they are so relatable,you are doing well and will find what works for you Just follow your gut instinct and it will all gall into place.I had a right old chuckle when you mentioned in your make up video that you had “no social skills left apart from singing nursery rhymes “.
    I know understand why the school run is hard for me and all the socialusing that goes with it!

  17. Jo
    October 18, 2015 / 10:41 pm


  18. Christine
    October 19, 2015 / 9:35 am

    Another great read, thanks Ruth, my little boys 20 months now and its like reliving the early days reading your posts, exciting times when they start to move! My front room soon became very minimalist! he loved his jumperoo though, a great invention for strengthening their leg muscles, he would bounce like a crazy person! also I could never get him to giggle either! Id try all day long, nothing, my sister in law would call round, and he would giggle from the first raspberry blown! Enjoy every second! I adore my toddler but I do miss the baby days! x

    • October 19, 2015 / 10:28 am

      Oh I do need to look into this Jumperoo thing! x

  19. Sophie
    October 20, 2015 / 11:26 am

    Aww Ruth sounds like a lot like my days a few months ago with the little one was same age as Baby A.

    My biggest advice to you (and all breastfeeding mums) would be to start bottles as soon as you possibly can because it just gets harder and harder to get baby to take a bottle once they’re used to good old boobies.

    My daughter never ended up taking the bottle despite me trying 8 different bottle brands and going through a whole lot of stress and heartache.

    In the end (well still not the end as baby is 13 months and I still breastfeed morning and bedtime) I had to give up and accept she wasn’t going to take a bottle.

    It meant I never got more than 2 hours to myself to go and do basic things like getting a hair cut or god forbid buyin some clothes to hide the mumtum.

    Sorry for the long ass comment. Just really wanted to express what I went through.

    Pump straight away!

  20. pomereta
    October 23, 2015 / 1:33 am

    Hi Ruth. I identify so much with this post, have been following you from the begining as I got pregnat at the same time. However, my little 1 decided to come earlier and I had an emergency C-section, she is 5 months at the moment. All this to say: rutine and naps are in the way, you wouldn´t believe the difference that a couple of weeks make. My little monkey didn´t do a single nap of had a bed time during months but in the last 2 weeks all that has changed, now she naps and sleeps always at he same time (thanks God for listening my prayers ;O) haha!). Love her to bits and my heart melts every time she smiles to me…

    • October 23, 2015 / 10:01 pm

      Ah, congratulations. And thank you – to be honest I wouldn’t mind if she never napped, I love her so much! But it would be a bonus! ; )

  21. Sara
    October 26, 2015 / 10:57 pm

    As far as sterilizing goes, I just throw my pump parts into a ziploc and put them in the fridge or freezer (freezer is best but I do the fridge) and only give them a proper washing every couple of days. So far it’s worked for mr and I’ve successfully fed 4 kids for a year each (including twins that only took expressed milk,,,just thinking about a whole year of pumping every single feeding still makes me shiver).

    So think about storing your parts in the fridge and not having to wash stuff 24/7.
    Good luck!!

  22. Aga
    November 1, 2015 / 9:07 am


    Check Kelo-cote gel for c-section scar. It works with me very well. We are 4 moths now.

    Love Your blog (both)!


  23. November 7, 2015 / 10:41 am

    But aren’t those maternity jeans with an elasticated waist the best invention ever!! I almost don’t want to get back to normal jeans lol

  24. Kerry
    November 16, 2015 / 11:06 am

    The overhang tummy won’t last forever – I’ve had two C-sections and you’ll be amazed how your body can return to (almost) new. The overhang slowly flattens out and the scar starts to fade.
    Great blog too x

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