Toddler, Baby and Me: The Two Month Update

Toddler, Baby and Me: The Two Month Update

I’m writing this in a snatched bit of time before bed; New Baby Ted has dropped off unexpectedly early and so I’ve been racing through a long list of admin so that I can go to sleep with a clear mind! So let’s not spend too long on the pleasantries and cut straight to the chase: the two month update for Angelica, Baby Ted and Me.

Toddler

Angelica, now 21 months, seems to learn a new thing every day. It’s absolutely fascinating and a constant source of amusement – everything from impromptu, crazy dance moves performed in public to little garbled sentences executed with such enthusiasm it’s impossible not to smile. Her vocabulary is growing in size and she has started to pronounce quite a few words properly – it’s always a surprise, like making alien contact, when she comes out with a perfectly spoken new word. “Hair Mama,” she said, the other day, and pointed at my hair. I almost fell off the bed with shock!

Toddler, Baby and Me: The Two Month Update

And her understanding is just brilliant – or I should say her misunderstanding? I love the way that she sees everyday things with completely fresh eyes, things that make total sense to an adult but must just seem bizarre to a child who is still learning how the world works. The latest thing is baby bottles – she has a plastic baby with a bright pink bottle, and she feeds the baby its pretend milk. She also has milk herself in a bottle (I know, I’ve tried to change it to a cup but to no avail!) and so she’s now associated babies with bottles. So yesterday, when I said “I need to feed Baby Ted”, she took her little plastic bottle, pulled down my top a bit and tried to put the bottle at the end of my nipple! She obviously thinks I have little mini-bottles inside my bra and that’s what Ted’s nuzzling away at…

So sweet. But at the same time incredibly demanding. I’m not sure whether bringing a new baby into the fold has accelerated certain behaviour – not bad behaviour, necessarily, just… boundary-pushing. “No” is the favourite word, and has been for some time now, and Angelica knows exactly what she wants to do and when she wants to do it. Thank God my husband is the most patient person on earth, because I am really not patient at all, especially when I’m trying to calm a screaming newborn at the same time as catching a bowl of pasta that’s flying from Angelica’s highchair!

toddler fairy wings

I really enjoy my time alone with Angelica, when Ted is asleep and I can concentrate on her fully. It was a massive source of guilt for me when Ted was just born and I was stuck in bed recovering – I could hear Angelica, but I couldn’t really see her, because I was so tired and felt so ill and just wanted to sleep. So being able to pick her up and swing her about and take her to Tumble Tots is just brilliant, I love it. Hard work, especially when you’ve been up with a newborn for half the night, but incredibly rewarding to be interacting with a little human who’s soaking up all of the things going on around her and processing them in weird and wonderful ways.

Baby

New Baby Ted, two months old today, has turned a bit of a corner in the last couple of weeks and I’m getting far more sleep overnight. Hurrah! Often he sleeps for six hours in a row, which apparently is almost considered to be sleeping through the night. I’m sure, thinking back, that Angelica did the same and then regressed at four months, then woke every two or three hours until she was eight months. I’ll have to look back at my diaries! And I must also do a post on things that feel depressingly permanent when you have a new baby – sleepless nights, constant winding, difficulties feeding – but that soon change without you even realising.

newborn baby asleep

I was having problems with Ted getting loads of trapped wind, but it is a lot better now, and he hasn’t been sick properly in weeks. Had I mentioned that he was being sick? Not all the time, just once (but a lot) every other day or so. It stressed me out loads, because I felt I couldn’t really go out with him in case he vommed all over me, or someone else, or in the pram or car seat, and so I did some research (and health-visitor-questioning) and made two major changes. The first was to raise the head of his crib so that he was lying in a slightly raised position rather than totally flat. This was the HV suggestion – I just wedged two large, heavy books beneath the runners of the Snuzpod. And almost overnight, Ted’s weird croaks and throat-clearing stopped. And he settled far better after night feeds – no three hour grizzle sessions!

The other major change I made, after reading quite a lot of articles and comments online, was to cut out milk. I’d been drinking tonnes of the stuff, because I did during pregnancy and simply didn’t change the habit. If you’re a long-term reader of A Model Recommends you’ll remember that I cut out milk after months of suffering with adult acne, and my breakouts stopped almost instantly. Now I don’t know whether it’s a coincidence, with Ted, but the day after I stopped with the epic milk consumption, he completely ceased his vomiting. I mean, he hasn’t vommed properly since. Can that really be a coincidence? It definitely wasn’t with the adult acne – I still get spots now if I have too much proper milk. (I seem to be fine, skin-wise, with drinking that Lactofree stuff!)

Has anyone else found that cutting out excess milk or dairy has helped with their breastfed baby? I’d be interested to know…

two under two

What else to report with Young Ted? He’s a lot more alert, and has started to make those lovely cooing and gurgling sounds. I am completely smitten, he’s just so cute. And, for the most part, very calm and chilled out and quiet. He just has his one crazy time every day, for a few hours, and my husband and I both go a bit potty, but we get through it and we know it’s just a phase. (Tell me it’s just a phase! HA!) I remember that Angelica had precisely the same manic time every day – from around 6pm until bedtime. Quite trying when it’s right over your relaxation period, and when you eat your evening meal, but it’s better than having the same fussy period happen overnight! Thank God for small mercies!

Me

How am I, two months in? Well, the caesarean scar is healing very nicely indeed, perhaps thanks to my silicone sheets (see post here) or maybe because it was sewn so neatly? I also feel very lucky that I haven’t – touch wood – had any problems at all with breastfeeding. I think I’ve used the Lansinoh cream twice and both of those times were right at the beginning. So after a pretty shitty first few weeks, when I felt that every part of my body had something wrong with it, I now feel very much back in the swing of things and I’m getting stronger every day, gaining great satisfaction when I do something new like push the pram up the hill or run up the stairs to fetch something. It’s great having full mobility again, being able to bend down to pick things up or load the dishwasher, being able to change the baby’s nappies without getting backache or worrying about pain in my abdomen. I have to say that I’m in a great mood. A far cry from how lost and overwhelmed I felt at the beginning – I’m really enjoying even the smallest achievement, and I’m more at peace with how the whole “two under two” thing works. Basically, you just have to get on with it and take it one day at a time. Have no – or low – expectations and if you have to have a to-do list, don’t put more than three things on it!

Toddler, Baby and Me: The Two Month Update

Right, I have loads more to say but I must go to sleep as it’s going to be midnight soon and I’ll be kicking myself tomorrow when I’m knackered and looking like an old hag. I’ve jotted down the things I still want to talk about and I’ll cover them in other posts. Stay tuned!

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20 Comments

  1. Annie
    April 4, 2017 / 3:14 am

    I cut out milk, cheese (true dedication as I’m a cheese addict) and yoghurt at 3 weeks to see if it would help reduce my now 11-week old’s trapped gas. He was screaming in his sleep every few hours and looked so uncomfortable. His sleep improved over the next few weeks, then I made the mistake of gobbling down one of my eldest’s petits filous and a hunk of cheese during a 2am feeding frenzy. A day later he had a face full of acne (which caused his skin to dry, crust over then peel off), started doing the most horrendous smelling poos, and we were back to waking every two hours (at best!) with horrible gas. I’ve been off all dairy ever since. I miss my cheese, but enjoy the 5-9 stretches of sleep and lack of screaming more…

    • Linda
      April 4, 2017 / 5:38 am

      You both convinced me, I’ll try to cut out milk! (Cheese addict as well). We Mats is 14 Weeks now) have problems with trapped gas almost every morning starting at 2/3 am. Then he starts crying and kicking, What helped a little bit was to place him on the belly, if I lay him down in his bed, he starts to roll over by himself is that a sign? After 10 min if gymnastic and protest it’s getting better. But the rest if the night he is still unsettled.
      Will report back if things change.
      p.s. Read somewhere that at this time in the night the stomach wakes up and starts again his work and that It can get better after the babys reach the 6-6,5kg mark.

      • Annie
        April 5, 2017 / 1:56 pm

        Good luck Linda, I hope things improve for you and your little one! The first few weeks are the worst as it takes a while for it to leave their system and it can feel like it’s all for nothing, but in our case my brief relapse and its immediate negative impact confirmed my suspicions. I’m planning to introduce a tiny bit of yoghurt when we’ve been weaning for a while to see how it goes, as I read that most babies grow out of their cow’s milk protein allergy (or sensitivity) pretty quickly.

    • Laura Verousis
      April 5, 2017 / 4:03 pm

      Dear Ruth

      What a lovely update – I really enjoy your blog; I started reading it when I was pregnant with my first baby who is around 8 wks older than Angelica. Now I’m pregnant with my second who’s due in July (there’ll be 26 months between them, so not quite two under two but a similar situation no doubt!) Anyway, I just wanted to say that reading your blogs about new motherhood, emergency caesarian recovery and all things baby has actually been a real comfort for me over the last (nearly) two years!! I don’t really have any close friends with children so it’s great to feel that others out there have the same challenges (and of course the same amazing times but it’s the challenging times we need reassurance about!) So, thank you!!!!

  2. Vicky
    April 4, 2017 / 5:33 am

    My youngest (now 3) was a huge vommer and a generally angry newborn. Like you i did a bit of research and cut out dairy, which improved things no end almost overnight. Subsequently also had to cut out eggs and soya and fed her for 10 months before moving to a prescription formula. Have also read some theories that babies born by caesarian (mine was) are more likely to develop such intolerance, but not sure how much science there is to back that up.

  3. April 4, 2017 / 5:47 am

    My son was vomiting about three times a day, but was chilled and smiling the whole time. Well, smiling as soon as he learned to smile. It didn’t seem to affect him the slightest, so I did not make any changes to my diet.

  4. Katie
    April 4, 2017 / 8:33 am

    Both my children (one now 3, the other 6 months) have been super sensitive to me eating dairy products when I’ve been breastfeeding. Both really settled from a vomiting point of view when I cut it out, and my baby boy went from 8 dirty nappies a day to one a fortnight! When I tried reintroducing it (to me) he had green mucous in his nappy so that convinced me. Interestingly when I restarted my daughter on dairy at 1 year she was fine with it, so hopefully my son will be the same.

  5. Briar
    April 4, 2017 / 9:31 am

    Loved the bit about low to no expectations. And no more than 3 jobs on the to do list. I will remember this. I’m so glad you are feeling better. Love following your journey. Thank you

  6. Lou
    April 4, 2017 / 10:21 am

    Hi! my daughter suffered from horrific silent reflux and part of the solution for me was to cut out all dairy and soya. Made a massive difference! Also we found she had a misdiagnosed tongue tie which also made her hard to settle, along with raising the cot, medication etc. Our daughter is now 9 months and I’m still feeding her and not eating dairy – it’s tough but worth it. Well done on your beautiful family

  7. Vicky
    April 4, 2017 / 10:27 am

    My nephew was a regular vomiter as a baby until my sister in law cut out milk (she was breast feeding him). Also made him sleep better, and he just seemed more comfortable in general.

  8. Renata
    April 4, 2017 / 11:39 am

    Love the blog Ruth. As a mother of 26 months old son and one month old baby, I can totally relate!
    My daugter is also suffering from trapped wind and I will try to cut out the dairy. I drink about half of liter of milk a day and eat yogurt last thing at night. I’m really interested If It helps.

    • Renata
      April 5, 2017 / 11:44 am

      Ok, I don’t know if it’s a coincidence but I haven’t had milk and yogurth since yesterday and now I seem to have totally diferent baby. She sleeps better during day and isn’t constantly crying if she’s not held.
      I will continue to try not to eat and drink so much dairy.
      Please, does anyone have tested if the lactose free dairy causes same issues?

  9. Aislinn
    April 4, 2017 / 11:47 am

    I had to cut out all dairy for the 13 months I breastfed my daughter – it definitely helped her colic and she has absolutely no dairy intolerance now. It was so hard to give up cheese though, I fantasised on a near daily basis about cheese on toast!!

  10. Niamh
    April 4, 2017 / 12:09 pm

    I’m BFing my 4-month old and from when Shen was 3 weeks I had cut out milk chocolate, cream, ice cream and yoghurt as I noticed she would get v gassy and upset wth a sore tummy after eating them. She has had green poos since that time as well so about 3 weeks ago I cut out all dairy (harder than you think ESP when you rely on cheese and crackers as a quick snack. Eating out is also impossible as everything seems to be cooked in butter). She’s definitely more settled and her poos are a more normal colour with less mucus. She was never much of a vomiter but she does puke less now as well. Worth a try!

  11. Emma
    April 4, 2017 / 3:01 pm

    My daughter was ever so grizzly and colicky until I cut out the gallons of milk I was drinking whilst breastfeeding! Thankfully that sorted out the grizzlyness, but I still had a very sicky baby right up until she began weaning – we’d quite often run out of muslins (I had about 20) before I managed to do a load of laundry due to all the mop ups. Ugh how glamorous! Thankfully she is now 11 months old and rarely sick, but those early days are ingrained on my memory!

  12. Elaine
    April 4, 2017 / 5:56 pm

    I’ve noticed bubs doesn’t make the dinosaur noises and fidgets less if he sleeps in my arms at an angle so while we already have the crib at an angle going to try a slightly higher one. He spits​ up a lot as well as silent reflux but again less so in my arms. Fingers crossed. I don’t do milk at all but will try cut butter and cheese to see if that helps. Our two worst nights were after i had a magnum after dinner. Might be coincidence, might not. No green nappies but a lot of poos in the day.

    Thanks for these updates I find them really helpful!

  13. Nicola
    April 4, 2017 / 6:07 pm

    I get what you’re saying about the behaviour thing! Julianna was born a couple of weeks after Angelica and she already knows how to push it. It’s annoying but incredible. Lately it’s been standing up on chairs. I’m like “Sit. On. Your. Bum!” She just blinks at me all innocently. I take two steps towards her and she sits – “So you DO know what I mean!” I still can’t​ believe she’s a little lady, not a baby. In 2-3 yr clothes!!
    It’s been lovely following Ted’s birth. We’re still TTC baby #2 but I’m still breastfeeding Julianna, so no luck there. I feel I need a clone of myself as it is! Or at least a wet nurse.

  14. Therese
    April 4, 2017 / 6:57 pm

    I developed a kind of lactose intolerance while pregnant, but it went away after having my baby daughter. Then when we started weaning her and giving her yogurt etc it turned out she is allergic to milk (and eggs) and still to this day if I over indulge on dairy it will affect her (eczema flareups) through my breast milk.

  15. Salvyria
    April 4, 2017 / 9:03 pm

    Yes cutting down milk and choc (swapped to dark choc) really helped when I was breastfeeding.

    Also, having had the newborn now go through Twos and Threes I can look back and say older girl was behaving normally (development speaking) and new baby arrival didn’t absolutely destroy her. Same age gap as yours.

    However there is now the (sweet) issue that no1 doesn’t ever remember a time when no2 wasn’t here and they play together, learn together and fight together. They often say “we’re twins” and squeeze each other tight.

    Two under two, and then two under three, is insanely hard but suddenly the fog lifts and they begin to play and life eases up a teeny bit.

  16. Lucy
    April 5, 2017 / 5:27 am

    The comments section is so helpful; with my last little man I had to cut down on chocolate (was eating ridiculous amounts) never even thought to switch to dark chocolate just went cold turkey (ugh). Love the blog my third is due in 11 days and dying to just get going with my three under three, ahhhhhhhh!!!!

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