Parenting Highs and Lows: January 2018

parenting vlog video

A new feature for you, to supplement the written monthly updates that you read here on the blog; Parenting Highs and Lows will be a chatty, rambling video about all of the good and bad things that have happened over the course of the month – struggles and triumphs, positives and negatives, failures and successes.

Because sometimes, by the time I get around to writing the Toddler, Baby and Me update, I’ve forgotten all of the bits and pieces that have brought me utter joy, or sent me into a spiral of despair. I’m so busy writing about how Ted is getting on with his weaning or how Angelica is coming out with funny words that I miss out the smaller – more casual – anecdotes. Or I’m so preoccupied with documenting the smaller, more casual anecdotes that I completely miss out the bigger picture. The achievements that have felt utterly life-changing, or the mistakes that have seen me repeatedly banging my forehead on the kitchen table.

So here’s the first episode; Parenting Highs and Lows: January 2018. I will try my best to do one a month – as I do with the written update – so that there’s a sort of “video diary record” of my ups and downs. If you’re not already subscribed to the Youtube channel, then do so here and you’ll get the videos straight to your inbox. Similarly, if you’d like to get blog posts emailed to you then you can sign up to that here!

OK, wine/tea/gin/Magnum at the ready, let’s chat about sleep, slapping and leaving constructive comments…

*© 2017 The Uphill®: *Outbound links are affiliate links, which means that I receive a very small percentage of any sale made. This does not affect my content in any way and does not cost you anything, but you are most welcome to Google the products on a new page if you prefer. All opinions are my own and any sponsored or paid posts will always be clearly marked as an AD in the title. I accept press samples and receive product and services to review as part of my job. "The Uphill" and "Ruth Crilly" are registered trademarks.

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15 Comments

  1. Jan
    January 29, 2018 / 1:39 pm

    I love your honesty Ruth and I wish that there had been this open-ness when I first had my children. I did the same as you to try to get them to sleep, and it worked so well that when I came back from nursery with my then 3 and a half year old, my 1 and a half year old and my new baby, they all went up for a sleep in the afternoon for a couple of hours. It is so bloody hard being a Mum. I just wish there was something out there for now when they are 25,23 and 22 and one is having mental health issues and I don’t bloody know what to do. Keep it up please, it enables me to remember a frenetic time but one that I was able to control to a certain extent and in which I was the main influenser, now I feel like a powerless bystander.

    • Erna
      January 30, 2018 / 8:16 am

      Same here Jan… my only son is 21 and struggling with himelf and with life… so painfull to see your child so unhappy… XXX

  2. January 29, 2018 / 1:40 pm

    Oh, what a great idea. It will feel even more like a cool mum-friend talking to you at the kitchen table!

  3. January 29, 2018 / 1:53 pm

    Urgh, the slapping thing. It’s so hard isn’t it? My daughter is about Angelica’s age and she’s only done it a couple of times and, like you, the first time it really shocked me. On reflection, I think she does it when she’s a bit overwhelmed with excitement about something and it’s like a little physical release when she’s laughing or being silly but, whatever, it’s not nice. The thing I find most useful when she does things like that for the first time is reminding myself ‘she has no idea this is wrong’. It probably sounds stupid but this was a genuine revelation the first time I thought about it properly. When they do things like that it’s so easy to feel emotional (oh god I’ve raised a monster!) but I realised that because she’d never done it before, I’d never actually told her it was wrong to hit someone. Of course, second and third time is a different thing… I do always tell her it’s wrong, but we’re concentrating on what she ‘should’ do so we spend lots of time talking about how we should always be gentle with people’s faces/hair/whatever and it seems to work. Now when she wants to touch my face I’m (mostly) getting gentle strokes and not swinging slaps! I love your approach to parenting, Ruth, and these videos are a great idea. It’s always good to hear from someone who understands that one size doesn’t fit all and we’re all just muddling through together! Faye

  4. Laura
    January 29, 2018 / 9:10 pm

    Love the idea of these updates Ruth! Agree with everything you say about the comments. One of the things I like most about this blog is that the commenters seem really great – lots of open-minded, supportive chat and I often look in the comment section for tips and advice on some of your posts about sleeping/breastfeeding etc. It’s a really nice online space that you’ve created and it is my favourite place on the Internet for Mum chat and laughs! Great news about baby Ted. My baby has just started sleeping through the night at 8 months (after similar tactics) and it’s a dream!

  5. SuWu
    January 29, 2018 / 9:19 pm

    Hi Ruth, you’re doing great! Not only is it your first time being a parent of two, it’s also their first time being children. Just keep enjoying them…and Mr. AMR.

  6. FloJo
    January 29, 2018 / 9:33 pm

    Loved this video diary! I know you said think before you comment but I’m just going to launch into a little bit of waffling so apologies in advance… I so appreciate your honesty in these updates. I read The Uphill and AMR and am constantly amazed at what you manage to achieve – to the extent you seem somewhat superhuman – but then watching this you seem totally normal and facing the same challenges all mums face. Please keep posting these. F x

  7. Katherine
    January 29, 2018 / 10:38 pm

    Love this new segment Ruth! Thanks so much for your honesty. I have a 10 month old and am currently waking regularly through the night to feed like you were. We are in a terrible pattern and so I just feed her as it feels like the path of least resistance. I’m now feeling inspired to take your approach and make a concerted effort to resettle without the feed. Hopefully this will help with her daytime eating too as like Ted she is not a great eater during the day!
    It must be lovely to be getting a good nights sleep finally, we’ll done!

  8. Manda
    January 30, 2018 / 3:39 am

    Your face lights up when you talk about your kids. That’s all. X

    • Laura
      January 30, 2018 / 7:35 pm

      What a lovely thing to say. It’s true though, isn’t it.

  9. Frederique
    February 1, 2018 / 10:01 am

    I love your video’s Ruth. Keep doing what you do. It makes you so unique.

    I hope you feel a bit more like yourself this month and I love to see more a day in a life of also on your other blog where you film your skincare routine in the morning, not so edited or different things you’ve been using skincare wise.
    And maybe an evening routine but then also more unedited.

    And I love it if you take us on your work things with you, it’s not boring at all to watch you set up and do your video it’s so nice to watch.

    Love,
    Frederique

  10. Marie
    February 1, 2018 / 2:17 pm

    Great idea Ruth, I enjoyed the video. I am glad you are getting your sleep, it has a massive impact on your perspective and ability to cope. Yes, we are all winging it and I find those who are quick to criticise often lack confidence and are keen to put others down. You have to parent as you feel fit. I have a child with autism and the best thing he ever taught me was to have confidence that you know your child best and you are the expert. This is not to say you can’t listen to others suggestions but ultimately, you have o follow your own instincts.

  11. Karen
    February 2, 2018 / 1:44 pm

    My twins (15 months) have done it, not so hard yet. But yes, it’s dofficult to know how to handle it. So far I’ve been saying ‘be gentle with mummy’ the way I say about be gentle with the cats. Not working yet.
    Another issue I have is that as they are twins, they are observing each other…and me!! So will both learn the right or wrong way.
    I need to research and get ideas.
    Glad to hear the sleeping is going well. Sometimes I think we think they are more fragile then they are! I love when you said he laughs when you pick him up. Cheeky boy!
    After jet lag, I now have one sleeping through and the other who needs a little gentle ‘shhh’ to go back to sleep. I had them in my bed for too long afterwards cps I thought they wouldn’t sleep in their cots, and then when I put them in they were fine! Haha
    Love the video.

  12. Jody
    February 3, 2018 / 1:39 pm

    My daughter has just gone through a slapping phase. The horror! I went mad and sent her to THE corner to calm down. Seems to have passed now, thankfully. My favourite comments about parenting come from those who don’t yet have children. I nod and smile and laugh hysterically on the inside. “Just you wait! Mwahahaha!” Like you say, we’re all just doing our best. Keep on keeping on

  13. Ley
    February 5, 2018 / 11:46 am

    Ruth, thanks for being frank. I don’t have any family support and most of my friends don’t have kids. When I do get advice from them, it all seems a bit dickish and irrelevant. So, thanks for saying how hard it can be. I’m trying to grow a backbone to try the controlled crying. Have a good week and enjoy the Magnum tonight.

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