ruth crilly pregnant

I stepped out of the door on Friday and managed to pull both of my calf muscles! Now please don’t jump to any conclusions; it wasn’t as though I was doing lunges out of the door or anything funny like that, just plain-old walking. My boots were my trusty old Belstaff biker boots, which have a 1 inch heel – nothing to write home about in terms of health and safety violation… I hobbled my way to the train station and then, as I boarded the train, I did something to my hip! It’s as though my ligaments have been replaced with short lengths of elastic, but the lengths of elastic have a kind of “bi-polar” thing going on where one minute they don’t give and the next, they allow my body to fly off in all kinds of different directions. Fast forward to Sunday and I have added a weird shoulder crick and a lower back twinge to my list of ligament disorders.

Oh well. I think this may be an excuse to buy some new ballet pumps! Hopefully we’re nudging into spring and the weather will be kind to the non-sturdily shod. And also those who are too large to get into any of their winter coats – or summer coats, for that matter. For me, coats have become mere shawls – I slip my arms into them and that works okay, but there’s no point even attempting to do them up. My once-lovely wool wrap coat from LK Bennett makes me look like a fat friar, my cashmere Burberry trench suddenly has the appearance of an ill-fitting dressing gown. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend hundreds of pounds on a maternity coat that I’ll wear for about two months! So, hurry up spring. I need you. Otherwise I’ll be fashioning outdoor clothing out of bits of tarpaulin and builders’ rubble sacks!

Oh yes – I haven’t mentioned until now, but I have to move house once, potentially twice, before the baby arrives. I’m having my entire house renovated. Crazy timing, I know, but we’re too far in to stop, now, it’s like a big monster project that has run away with all of our time and money. I’ll write about it more this week, probably on A Model Recommends, but I have to say that from a pregnancy point of view, the whole idea is making me feel very uneasy. Having to pack up your whole house, when all you feel like doing is snuggling down and sorting out your photo albums? Not ideal. And it’s also unlikely that the work will be finished in time for early June, so I’m either going to bring baby back to a strange rented house or to my own house that won’t be quite finished… My sensible head is saying stick to the rented for a while and avoid the noise! It’s all going on…

In other news: I went to have a maternity bra fitted. I popped to Debenhams, mostly because I was walking past it. Or I should say hobbling, on my two pulled calf muscles and with my dodgy hip. I’m having trouble with my bras; as a lingerie lover I always thought that I would jump at the chance to buy new underwear during pregnancy, but actually, as it turns out, it’s the last thing on my mind. The slightest pressure around my rib cage really hurts at the moment (bones moving, ligaments stretching, etc etc repeat to fade), and so the moment I put a bra on all I can think about is the delicious moment that I’ll be able to take it back off again.

I had been wearing the softest, most unstructured bra I could find (this one from M&S) but the ladies at Debs said I needed more structure and fitted me with this one, in a 34E, which has cups that honestly fit over the top of my head. My boobs don’t even feel that much bigger (I was a 32DD/30E before) but I think that my back has definitely become broader. Even the 34 feels snug. Ouch. I managed a whole day in the new bra yesterday. I lie, I managed until 3, then took it off to watch Game of Thrones and have a nap! A five hour bra stint, pretty good going…

*written at 24 weeks and 6 days pregnant

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23 week baby bump

Oooh, getting in there right at the last minute with my Week 23 diary entry! This week has mostly been dominated by very achey bones. Not all the time, just when I’m asleep (or trying to be asleep). Hip bones, rib bones, shoulder bones, thigh bones, it feels as though I’ve been bashed all over with a cricket bat, but then the aches and pains almost completely disappear once I’m up and about. Apart from the old ribs, which seem to detest me being in any position other than “standing upright with my back impossibly straight”.

Other than that, not much to report apart from the fact that I am loving this stage of pregnancy; I have my appetite back, I have much more energy than a few weeks ago and I’m starting to get very excited about the arrival of the baby. My sister has a fourteen-month-old and I keep having a little look back at the older pictures of when she was first born and feeling very broody. I’m also slightly daunted, as ever, because I’m well aware of just how much hard work it will all be, and so I’m making sure I appreciate every little minute that I can simply do what I like without having to really think about anyone else. I’m so used to being in control of everything and ensuring that I meet targets and stick to my self-made deadlines, and I know that all of my routines and work habits are just going to go flying out of the window!

But anyway, my little What to Expect app tells me that there are sixteen weeks to go yet, and so I have plenty of time to mentally adjust and start winding down to a more feasible work rate. I do around sixty hours a week on A Model Recommends, and often find myself still editing film or transferring video files at midnight, and I know that I won’t be able to continue that level of commitment when I have a new baby. What I have realised, however, is that a lot of the time I’m doing faffy, unproductive administrative tasks, and so by farming all of that stuff out, and concentrating on the content-making, I should actually be able to retain something near to my usual output whilst cutting my hours dramatically. The other day I turned off my emails and didn’t look at Twitter, and I got all of my content done in six hours rather than the usual twelve. So there’s hope for me yet – I think I just need to use my time more efficiently!

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baby bump at 22 weeks

Exactly a week ago, I was stressing about not being able to feel any movement and now, seven days later, the movements hardly stop! It’s a very strange sensation, as I remarked in my 21 week diary entry (which, by the way, I only wrote a few days ago, so please forgive any repetitiveness), but a wonderful one. Early pregnancy is such an odd, anxious time; there’s no real sign that there’s anything growing away inside you, apart from the tiredness and sickness and general feeling of malaise. Having a tummy that’s bubbling away with little somersaults and kicks is kind of like getting a reassuring pat that everything’s okay.

Something odd: I started to feel a bit nauseous again this week. I know that I haven’t talked much about the first trimester, yet, but I was incredibly nauseous for pretty much the whole thing, though I was never actually sick. It felt like the worst hangover I’d ever had, I spent half the time in bed and the other half walking about with a hunched back, not daring to raise my head for fear of throwing up. I didn’t want to eat anything, and so survived on (wait for it, you’ll love this menu) Coco Pops, bananas, cheese on crackers and houmous scraped straight out of the pot with bits of defrosted pitta bread from the freezer. It was a tough time, gastronomically speaking; I usually love cooking and love eating even more, but I couldn’t think of anything that I wanted to eat. Eating became a pure re-fuelling exercise, which many say it should be anyway – I don’t agree, and think that you’re more likely to make good and healthy food choices if you enjoy the tastes of what you eat. But each to their own…

By week seventeen, I was starting to regain my appetite (must have been around Christmastime) and for the last month or so, I’ve been re-introducing all of the foods I had missed. Spicy curry (homemade, healthy), beautiful fresh seafood, stir-fries and salads, cooked breakfasts, bagels… But since the middle of last week queasiness has set in once more – only sporadically, and it’s actually only when I think about it, so it could be psychosomatic, but still. Eugh. I wonder if it’s a common thing? A spot of secret and illegal pregnancy Googling (I have been banned) brought up quite a few forum threads with people complaining of returned morning sickness, but I didn’t want to click in case a klaxon might start blaring and all of the house lights flash on and off, signalling my research rule-breaking.

Today I’m going to attempt a baby bump picture, so I’ll add it in above if I manage to take a good one. The intention was always that I would do one on the same day of the week, every week, but here we are at Week 22 and no bump progress pictures whatsoever. It doesn’t help that I need someone to take them, and my dear husband has had some kind of weird phobia about doing them. Now he has agreed, but wants to set up proper lighting and a background and all of that jazz – I JUST WANT A PICTURE OF MY BUMP AGAINST A WHITE WALL!

In other news, I have started setting my husband little tasks in preparation for the baby arriving; things he can enjoy doing and be good at. This week: researching baby car seats and prams. Here’s his first suggestion: the Camo Pram.

PS: if you read Belly Button Watch and were wondering about progress: it still hasn’t popped outwards. It’s very flat, with a little fold, but no pop. I continue to observe religiously whenever work commitments allow.

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